as is

Sometimes tired of/by life as it is
sometimes tired by my own inner buzz
its just too hard to keep smiling.
The energy's sort of beguiling
as tho its OK when its not,
like saying its cold when its hot
pretending I am how I wish I were
believing my pain is because of her
is like thinking this nosebleed is snot.
Everyone sees but me
I am both forest and tree
and I choose to keep seeing we
in my mind's eye's mirror,not me.
(Its my ego's witness protection program)
(or maybe witness projection program)
(or substitute witless above)
(its certainly not about love)

dreams

Dreams come and come again
sometimes
till they find their way in
like rhymes.
They play and replay on
like songs.
Holding memory space
so long
that friends of old
they seem,
the lessons of
the dreams,
resurfacing till when
a new dream comes
and then
it comes and comes again
till when
the lesson learned seems
just a dream.
Part of me,
like an old song
on my internal radio,
repeating, repeating.